May 11
"Elli didn't even know we had polar bears." -Me
"I didn't know you had polar bears in Canada?" -Leticia
"What? Where did you think they lived?" -Me
"I dunno, Antarctica?" -Leticia
I blame Coca Cola for this.
May 10
"You have polar bears in Canada!?" -Elli
"Yeah... where did you think polar bears lived?" -Me
"The North Pole." -Elli
May 6
"Hey Tracey, when you clean the rooms do you check to make sure everything works, like the taps and lights and all that?" -Jodie (20 yr. old who basically runs the motel)
"Uah, no. That's the maintenance man's job" -Tracey (runs the cleaning staff)
"..oh okay.." -Jodie
...
" ... Yeah I don't think we have a maintenance man eh?" -Tracey
May 2
This was actually a couple of weeks ago.
Jon is the assistant manager here. He's like any average guy, he has a dog, he writes articles on the AFL, you can joke around without hurting his feelings, and he tends to carry himself around, at least in his mind, as a typical "man's man", which is what made this so odd;
I was walking into work and passed Jon who was standing in his doorway wearing short shorts (which are horrifyingly common around here) but also had on, UGG boots. Now if you're not sure what they are, his were not unlike these ...
Combined with the short shorts, I just couldn't leave it alone.
"Hey Jon, you know, in my country, chicks wear those boots" -Me
"Well Colin, in my country, bloody men do!" -Jon
"..hmmm.. I don't think so Jon" -Me
To his credit I have seen one other dude wearing them since I've been here. To my credit, Jon hasn't worn them since. At least, in public.
April 29
Ken is a Chinese accountant who is cooking for us so that he can eventually immigrate here. Also, in our kitchen, anything you say can be heard outside.
"These people are so stupid! They order Fish of the Day. We are in the desert!" -Ken
April 28
"It gets cold here in the winter" -Leticia (co-worker)
"How cold?" -Me
"Like, really cold" -Leticia
"How cold is really cold?" -Me
"Like, the coldest in the state, on some days it can be minus" -Leticia
"minus what?" -Me
"Celsius" -Leticia
"No...minus what celsius?" -Me
"Oh, I don't know, 1 or 2" -Leticia
April 26
"Yeah I'll have a coffee" -Truckie
"What kind of coffee?" -Me
"What?" -[annoyed] Truckie
"Flat white? cappuccino?" -Me
"Nah! just real coffee, instant, none of that gay sh*t!" -Truckie
April 17
"What are those pizza things there?" - Truckie
"It's actually a chicken parmesan" - Me
"A what?" - Truckie
"A chicken pa-...pizza" - Me
"Yeah I'll have one of them pizzas" - Truckie
You should have seen the look on their faces when I told them the special was Thai Curry Chicken.
April 15
"What's for tea tonight?" - female customer
"Um, our tea is a self-serve around the corner" - Me
"Wh- I just help myself?" - female customer
"Yeah, well I'll get you a cup." - Me
"What, no, I meant tea, proper tea" - female customer
...
"You know, to eat? Dinner?" - female customer
If I were to guess, I'd have to say I have absolutely no clue what 1/10 customers are saying to me.
April 14
There's a girl I work with who, without fail, will greet you with g'day, regardless of the situation. I get a kick out of it because it's so stereotypical, yet it's not as common as you might think, and the way she says it is so Aussie it seems almost on purpose, but it's legit.
Today I walked in and was greeted as usual:
"G'daaahhyyyye [G'day]" -Ciara
"From now on I'm going to say; Good Day Ciara" -I said in an exaggerated, snobby tone.
"Wh- is that what it means?" -Ciara
