No Worries

Alright, so I’m not one to complain about very much. Well, not entirely true, if something really grinds my gears I can easily dwell on it for weeks, just ask anyone who was around me last summer (ahem, Canadian Pension Plan). But in terms of general everyday life, I’ve admittedly had it pretty good since day 1, and I try not to take those things for granted by being a “Colin Complain-a lot”, because let’s face it, some things in life are more important. I could describe a number of examples to illustrate this point, but I feel this commercial does a more effective job, cue video. (Sorry to use one that hits so close to home, but it really does get my point across. If you want to really bum-out try this one.)

Anyways, I think you get it, I like to let things go, because they could be worse. Plus nobody likes ‘that guy’ who just whines about everything, nobody cares.

But what happened to me this week with my bank (that my sister referred me to, thank you very much) National Australian Bank, would have sent off a shorter tempered person.

It all started last Saturday when I went to use the ATM machine. At that point I was going to pick up some groceries, then pay for accommodation for that night and Sunday night. As I went to the checkout with my groceries, I reached into my wallet and realized I had forgotten my Visa debit card at the machine, oops. I ran to the machine, the card was gone, I ran to the nearest branch, it was closed until Monday. I called and cancelled the card. Then I realized I have very little money in my pocket, no accommodation and no food. But hey, it’s my own fault and could be worse. I got the hostel to allow me to stay and pay on Monday, and was able to purchase enough calories for an average sized 20-something male to survive for 48 hours.

Prologue: Keep in mind, in Canada, when you go to the teller they can issue you a temporary card and change/reset your pin on the spot while your card arrives in the mail, so there is minimal impact on your daily life.

In Australia…

I went to the teller to order a new card, and was told it had to be mailed (the actual physical mail that they used in the olden days), and takes 5 business days. Hopefully it does, because that’s about the last business day before I leave civilization for, only god knows how long. It is not possible to receive a temporary card, but I am able to withdraw money from a teller using proper id. Alright, no worries, kinda sucks, but could be way worse. So I changed my mailing address from my sister’s place in NSW to this branch in Perth.

Friday morning, card has arrived. “Do I need to call and activate it?” “No, it’s ready to go”, “Beauty, what about my pin?”, “It will be the same as your old card”, “excellent, tyvm”

Across the street, I go to the tourist office to purchase a national park pass for my upcoming trip. Attempt to use my pin, failed. Maybe I did it wrong, so I try again, failed. I don’t attempt a third, or else it will lock my card, so I sign for the pass, and head back to the branch.

“Hey, I’m back, my pin is not the same, I just tried using it twice and it didn’t work, can you tell me what it is?” -Me

“Sure thing, just swipe your card [swiped] ok now enter your pin” –Same bank teller

“ [pause] … if I get it wrong a third time it will lock my card.” -Me

“Yup, just enter it on the keypad in front of you.” –Bank idiot

[pin failed]

“Oh, it’s locked your card, we’ll have to send you a new pin.” –Mysteriously employed man

“Ok, by text?” –Me

“Nope, in the mail” –Man with the IQ of a stamp

“The actual mail?” –Me

“Ya, 5-7 business days and you won’t be able to use your card.” –One of those guys that just has one of those faces you just want to punch

“… [check for sarcasm, or some kind of Candid Camera gag, nothing] … Wow. That is so low-tech.” –Me

“Sir, it is because we order our cards from a third party an-“ –Supervisor who showed up when she must have heard my tone of voice when asking to clarify what kind of mail the teller was referring to.

“It doesn’t matter where you get it from, you’re physically sending me electronic information, it’s low-tech, you can’t just give me a pin right now? I’m right here. I won’t even have a mailing address.” –Me

“Well you can have it mailed to someone you know, who can open it, scratch it off and text the pin to you.” –Supervisor, unable to think more than one level of logic ahead

“…So can’t this third party just scratch it off and text it to me now? Whatever, fine, just mail it, I’ll need to get cash out since I can’t use my card for another 2 weeks (5-7 business days includes a couple Sundays and a holiday).” –Me

As I walk away, I’m going through everything in my head and realize I changed my mailing address to a branch that I’m never going to visit ever again, *sigh* could be worse. Back to the branch I go.

“Hi again, yes, I need to change my mailing address, and you need to make sure my pin goes to this one.” –Me

“Oh, ummm okay, Karen how do I do this” –Same brainless teller, with a confused look as he analyzes his brail computer system

“Oh, okay, Sir, you’ll have to come back tomorrow, since we mailed something today your address can’t be changed for 24 hours.” –Supervisor

“Ha! Of course it can’t, thank you for your help, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” –Me

As I leave the bank, I go to the surplus store around the corner to get a sleeping bag for my trip. Figured I’d give my card a shot and just sign for it, it worked. Idiots.

Moral of the story, I dunno. If you read this whole thing, I hope you enjoyed my rambling banter. I had to tell someone. I just can’t believe that the most profitable, publicly traded bank in Australia is run with such operational inefficiencies. If one day I have the capital to become a corporate raider, I have my first target.

But in the end I look back and think, if I hadn’t gotten that 6-month placement at EDC after graduation, I’d be in South Korea right now … I suppose, it could be worse.